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i really wonder whether everything is binary. like how the world could be described in ones and zeros - kinda like the matrix. or like on and off switchs in sum funny atomic theory. once again this is the yes and no, positive and negative, dark and light, and whatnot. dichotomy. and i wonder if life can be similarly classified.

well i guess the fundamental question is why am i (it cld well be what am i, but lets ignore that for another time). so... i guess we either have for self or for other(s). and for self we have utility vs... uselessness. uhh lets go for utility which seems easier. so its satisfaction/worth/value by... sensation vs reason i guess. its rather interesting here. i mean shld u live for feelings or thoughts. and i guess they kinda meld, like how thinking cld be like feeling logic and feeling cld be rationalizing stimuli or wdv. hm obviously rational thought seems to have more use since u can actually communicate it with others... uh.. well empirically that is. but since we've already chosen 'self' in the dichotomy of existence, i guess going for sensation which seems to be quite an individualistic experience cld be justified.

so ok, now we have sensation which cld roughly be categorized into 
pleasure and pain. like hedonism and sadism/masochism (or both, i dunn0, they're pretty close). though arguably, the latter
is kinda strange in that for some people, pain actually causes pleasure. pretty cool stuff relli.. tt of course answers y anyone wld want to hurt themselves in the first place, but i dunno, go ask an emokid or smth.  in any case it seems that life seems to be for pleasure... and then the next question is how to attain it. bearing in mind that due to acclimatization, desensitization and whatnot, the body tires of sensations pretty quick, it does seem that life is a pursuit of new sensations..

at this point i acknowledge that theres prob alot of problems in my reasoning... and like its not logical, and theres no syllogism and wdv. sometimes i wonder whether im obfuscating these relli very simple subjects and making it into an unnecessarily recondite matter. but hey, i guess it helps whoever's reading this' vocabulary..

yea im quite aware tt thinking, or rather contemplation of matters of universal significance is largely regarded as elevated above the primal pursuits of base sensations.. but its kinda elitist if u tink abt it; its more 
utilitarian to have feelings be ur yardstick for a meaningful existence cos everyone can do it (well, obviously not everyone, but i figure more than for ppl who hv to think abt "important philosophical subjects". like u hv five senses but only one mind... haha.) ok im starting to digress and make no sense here. and its kinda an irony that even though i like advocate a sensory existence, i actually bother to type this all out. heh, mebbe theres more utility from pressing the keys than there is from trying to reason this logically.. go figure.